The Art of Coasting
The Art of Coasting – Bergen Concierge Service, 2022

We all experience setbacks in life and work.

Do you know about the Art of Coasting? Sometimes we are disappointed by life, and by those we care about the most. All of the relationships we establish throughout our journey will ebb, flow, come and go. Some are meant to last a season and some end for a reason. Our role is to discern the difference, and keep moving on.

It can be difficult to concentrate at work when you have problems at home, and vice versa. But how do we learn to balance?

Full disclosure: I am talking about day to day disappointments here, not earth shattering bad news.

Failed relationships, work disappointments and financial worries can be as ubiquitous as the the sun rising and setting every day.  Bet on it and you will win every time. But we can’t stay in that head space. Negativity breeds more negativity. it is like a poison in the air.  You must make a concerted effort to avoid it in order to have peace in your life.

Negativity drags down the energy down of a room, and conversely positivity brings the energy up. Think about it, in relation to your life experiences. Does this ring true to you?

Fundamentally we should ask ourselves three simple questions:

  1. Are you healthy?
  2. Do you have food and shelter?
  3. Are the people you love ok?

➡️ Then the rest is gravy.

Four ways to learn The Art of Coasting when it feels like any moment your world will come crashing down:

1. Practice Equanimity.

While sometimes we wish it were the case, unfortunately we are simply not special because we had a setback. It is going to happen over and over again. What exactly is equanimity? The Oxford English Dictionary defines it as:

The practice of mental calmness, composure, and evenness of temper…especially in a difficult situation.

The key is not to look at every disappointment as an earth shattering event. Even the best of relationships end, businesses fail, and people disappoint us. But that doesn’t mean we don’t try to stay centered.  Ultimately, overcoming challenges bring us to a better iteration of ourselves, which in turn helps to navigate further roadblocks.

2. Remember you are not special.

I mean, well, you are – of course 🙂 We all are, at the end of the day. But not special enough that you will be spared negative experiences in life. You are going to get dinged from time to time.  It is utterly normal that you exist in a realm where a spectrum of emotions and experiences will be endured. There is beauty in the pain, sometimes. Lean into it – and consider practicing gratitude that you care enough to feel at all.

3. Remember to set an example for others.

Positivity is a magnet for success, in life and in work. Cultivate an innate sense of equanimity and the art of staying in balance when there is chaos around you. As a ballast in the wind you will make better decisions, stay healthier, and be more at peace.  Moreover, you will literally feel others drawn to you who want to be around happy, magnetic people who don’t take everything in life so darn seriously.

4.  Don’t steer so hard.

It may sound counterintuitive to not steer or ‘drive’ towards your goals, but think about it: if you take your foot off the gas, you will, intuitively speaking, coast towards your goal.  No one is saying this won’t be work, but there is an overarching imperative: It should feel natural and uncomplicated.  Desperately searching for direction is diametrically opposed to cultivating an intuitive sense of self reliance. They cannot coexist, and you will naturally find your way.

The Art of Coasting: Final thoughts and forward thinking

We are only one person. The troubles we have in our personal life no doubt carry over into our professional existence. You can apply the same principles to both. Work on not being overwhelmed, and delegate tasks where you can so you can focus on your core competency, what you intuitively enjoy, and where your energy is directing you.

Should you need a strategic partner to help take some weight off of your shoulders, we are just a phone call away.

After all, life is too short to steer so hard, right?


Laura Milo DeAngelis | Owner and Founder | Bergen Concierge Service LLC • 201-303-7301 •

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